Be At Ease: Steps to Relaxing More So You Can Give and Receive More
3 Things We Dive Into In This Episode:
Concrete steps for relaxing and letting go of the need to always be productive.
What being fully present and embodied does for the quality of your life and creativity.
How my most easeful and relaxed month led to my most successful month in business.
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[01:29] Releasing Tension in Your Body and Your Life
Take the deepest breath you’ve taken all day. Breathe in through your nose, and take a nice, long exhale. Allow yourself to be at ease.
Where in your body have you been holding on to tension, stress, and rigidity where you don't need to be?
Where in your life have you been holding on to tension, rigidity, complexity, and the grind mentality?
[04:30] When in Rome
Two awesome things happened to me in Rome: it was the best month I ever had in my business, and it was the first time I fully and truly loved being single.
A line from the Lizzie McGuire movie inspired me to think that I didn’t have to go to Rome for all the amazing things to happen to me. It was within me the entire time.
Upon reflection, I had the best time in Rome because I stepped into an energy of ease every single day I was there.
My personal mission for 2023 is to try and live every single day of my life — no matter where I am — like I'm in Rome.
I want to be at ease every day — just like when I was in Rome.
[12:15] How Living in an Energy of Ease Changes Your Life
Being at ease doesn't mean you won't have challenging moments and feel negative emotions.
Two things happen when you step into more easeful and flowy energy: your perspective widens, and you stop relying on maladaptive coping tools.
Caitie: "When you step into a little bit more ease, presence, relaxation, and flow, your perspective widens, and that allows you to access creative solutions to things and creative ideas, and be open to new people, and to experience life more fully, more freely, more creatively." - Click Here To Tweet This
When I was living in New York, I did not step into flow throughout my day. The only time I had ever given myself a chance to step into it was when I was with my partner.
By giving myself more moments of ease and pleasure, I no longer needed to source it from any relationship. I realized I could give myself that sense of flow and ease.
You are likely to fall into whatever your default coping tool of choice is when you don’t give yourself moments of rest throughout your day.
In this episode, I’ll talk about 5 ways to lean into ease into your life.
[19:03] #1: Engage in Three Different Types of Solo Time
When I was in Rome, I engaged in three different types of solo time.
These were engaging in solo meals, solo adventures, and spacious solo times.
A solo meal can mean going out and sitting at a restaurant, or it could be taking the time to cook a meal for yourself and enjoy it.
Going on solo adventures doesn’t have to be grand. It’s about being open to every little thing becoming an adventure.
Spacious solo time essentially means permitting yourself to do nothing and be at ease. It creates an opportunity for you to be with yourself and your thoughts.
Taking even just 15 seconds of solo space will give you clarity and peace around something.
Catie: “It's so important to give yourself that type of solo time though, that solo time that's not dedicated to running errands, solo time that's not dedicated to doing a thing or working, solo time that's just time to be in space.” - Click Here To Tweet This
[27:21] #2: Have a “Pointless” Hobby
A “pointless” hobby is an activity you enjoy without any practical reasons.
I took Italian classes while I was in Rome, even when there was no practical reason to do so. I simply thought that the language is the most beautiful thing.
Having hobbies that are just for fun allows you to step into a place of more open-mindedness and creativity.
Permit yourself to lean into a joyful hobby that lights you up every single day.
[31:25] #3: Lean Into Your Five Senses
Leaning into your five senses is a way to get present and regulate your nervous system.
Embracing the pleasure of my five senses also helped me maintain a positive body image.
Imagine taking in all the sights, sounds, and tastes in a place you thought was really beautiful.
I felt embodied through wanting to be as present as possible when I was in Rome.
[36:09] #4: Set Boundaries Around Your Work Day
When I was in Rome, I did not let myself start work before I had to. With the time difference, this was generally around 1 or 2 PM, and I stopped working after my last client at the end of the night.
I also set a ritual around the start and end of my work day by lighting and blowing out a candle.
I worked the least amount of time in the most successful month of my business.
It’s about working with more presence, not about working more.
When you allow yourself to rest more, you can be more creative, efficient, productive, and fully present.
[39:07] #5: Slow Down; Be Fully Present
Midway through my trip to Rome, I realized that I hadn't lost any of my hair ties.
I have always had problems with my hair ties going missing my whole life. I didn't lose any in Rome because of how fully present I was in every moment.
Give yourself enough headspace and spaciousness in your life to pay attention to the thing you frequently lose.
[43:21] Leaning into Ease throughout Your Day
Leaning into being at ease allowed me to have the best month in my business and be fully content as a single person in Rome.
You don’t need anyone else’s permission but yourself to lean into a sense of ease.
Catie: “When you enjoy your life fully, that shit expands to other people. You have a greater capacity to help other people feel good about themselves and to help other people enjoy their lives—everyone wins when you let yourself lean into a sense of ease throughout your day.” - Click Here To Tweet This
You don't need to live your whole day at ease. But you can find micro-moments throughout the day to allow yourself to lean into it.
Leaning into an energy of ease wherever you can allows you to be the most creative and open-minded version of yourself.
You don’t need to deserve more pleasure and ease in your life. It’s something you need to step into right now.
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Whole, Full, and Alive is a podcast exploring the art and science of falling in love with your life, with your story, and with who you truly are — underneath your titles, your resume, your relationship status, and your bank account. I invite you to be more at ease in 2023 and experience true pleasure and joy every single day. Step into that energy of ease and relax!
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Caitie Corradino: I've made it my personal mission for the year 2023 to try and live every single day of my life, no matter where I am, like I'm in Rome. And what I mean by that is, I want to step into and stay in an energy of ease.
Welcome to whole, Full and Alive, a podcast exploring the art and science of falling in love with your life, with your story and with who you truly are underneath your titles, your resume, your relationship status, and your bank account. I'm Caitie Corradino, a registered dietitian, nutritionist, certified fitness and yoga instructor, eating disorder recovery coach, Reiki healer, and founder of Full Soul Nutrition. But underneath my titles and resume, I’m a big fan of kitchen dance breaks, early mornings, all things chocolate truffles, world traveling, and serendipity. I'm here to share no bullshit stories and actionable tools to help you feel unshakably worthy. You have everything you need within you to feel whole, full and alive right here, right now. Let's get into it.
Hey, welcome back to another episode of Whole, Full and Alive. I'm so grateful that you're tuning in today, and I want to start today's episode by inviting you to take the deepest breath that you've taken all day. So right here, right now, whether you are driving or walking or sitting or doing your dishes or whatever, can you take the deepest breath you've taken all day in through your nose, hold it up there at the top for a moment, and then take a nice, long, exhale. Do that one more time, nice, deep breath in through your nose. And exhale, release. Let it go.
Where in your life have you been holding on to tension and rigidity and complexity and the grind mentality where you definitely don't need to be? And where in your body have you been holding on to tension and stress and rigidity where you maybe don't need to be? That's probably an easier question to answer first. So first answer that: where in your body are you holding on to tension where you can probably invite in a little bit more ease? Can you relax your jaw a little bit more? Can you release your shoulders a little further away from your ears? Can you — I really liked this one — can you try to relax your brain?
Think about releasing and relaxing the area in like the center of your skull. And now that you've hopefully let go of tension in some area of your body where you don't need to be carrying tension. I invite you to shift towards that first question I asked. Where can you invite a little more ease into your life?
That is what I want to talk about. On today's episode I want to talk about inviting a little bit more ease into your life. A little bit more flow, a little bit more play, a little bit more pleasure. If you're feeling tempted to pause this podcast because that sounds like, I don't know, woowoo or ridiculous to you. I really invite you to consider that maybe you're the person that needs to stick around and listen to this episode. I'm feeling inspired to talk about ease today because I'm feeling inspired to reflect on the month that I spent in Rome during summer 2022.
If you're new to the podcasts little baby summary I spent most of 2022 traveling across the United States and the world after a breakup, after realizing I just didn't want to live in New York City for a million reasons. I wanted to explore a little bit before I settle down somewhere, spoiler alert, I ended up settling down in Denver, Colorado. But before I did that, I spent a month in Rome, which is something that I have always, always wanted to do. And during this month, in Rome, I not only had just, you know, an incredible experience working from Rome, because it's an incredibly beautiful city with amazing culture and food and people. I also ended up having two really awesome things happen to me.
The first thing that happened to me, that was just really amazing when I was in Rome, was that I ended up having the best month that I ever had, in my business up to that point, I ended up making the most money I had ever made in a month in my entire life. Wow, I was working from Rome. And my business also expanded during that month, like creatively and logistically, and I kind of refined my mission as a holistic nutrition counselor and body image coach during that month. It was an incredible, incredible month for my business.
The second awesome thing that happened to me while I was in Rome, was that I really, fully, truly, completely, absolutely loved being single. I, for the first time in my life, felt really, truly 100% content with not pursuing a romantic partnership. Up to that point in my life, it was something I kind of struggled with, for a while I kind of like, made the pursuit of a romantic partnership, kind of like a coping tool. Throughout most of my life, I always felt like I needed to fill empty time in my life with pursuit of romantic relationships.
I always felt like I needed a partner to find a sense of like, relief and relaxation and, almost like fulfillment at the end of the day. Like, I wasn't putting the whole stock of my life into a romantic partnership, I've always, thankfully had a lot of things that fulfilled me. However, the pursuit of a romantic partnership was definitely something that I was far too fixated on for most of my life. When I was in Rome, I just just felt this total relief from that pursuit. And I genuinely felt comfortable in my own skin and genuinely felt like, okay, you know, what, maybe delayed marriage or no marriage is going to be okay for me.
I at first thought, these two things happened to me. While I was in Rome, this amazing month for my business and this release of a coping tool. I at first thought that those two things happened to me while I was in Italy, because, you know, Italy is just a magic place. And I had had magical experiences in Italy before. I studied abroad in Florence when I was in college and had an incredible, incredible experience during that time. I actually also took a solo trip to Italy when I was 16, which is a long story. But that was another really awesome time for me. After my time in Rome, the summer I was like, You know what, maybe Italy is just fucking magic and it's just my place, and I just go there and amazing things happen to me. And that's just it.
However, while I was watching the Lizzie McGuire movie with a friend a few months ago, if you're not familiar, the Lizzie McGuire movie is a cinematic masterpiece that was released in the early 2000s during my prime preteen years. It's a movie about a girl who goes to Rome and has an amazing experience. Anyway. I was watching that movie A few months ago.
And there is this amazing quote at the end of the movie where one of the main characters, Lizzie McGuire's best friend, Gordo says, you know, Lizzie, you didn't have to go to Rome for all this stuff to happen to you. It was within you the entire time.I have to say I was watching this movie and I was like, “Yeah, that's it.” She didn't have to go to Rome for any of that stuff to have To her, it was within her the entire time. And it inspired me to think, yeah, I didn't have to go to Rome, to have the amazing things that happened to me while I was in Rome happen. It was within me the entire time.
So, over the last couple of months, I've been reflecting on, you know, why was it that I had the best month in my business ever while I was in Rome? And why was it that I didn't feel like I needed to flop into a relationship anymore while I was in Rome. And the main thing that comes up for me, when I think about this, is the energy of ease that I was able to step into every single day that I was in Rome. Now, I really want to point out that I was not having this like bougie, Roman Holiday, while I was in RomeI I was living in a very tiny apartment, a very modest apartment, near the Spanish steps I was working every single day, I was still living my regular life, I was just doing so in Rome. And for some reason, while I was there, I just unlocked a deep layer of healing that allowed me to grow my business, and allowed me to feel so fully completely content, being single.
I've made it my personal mission for the year 2023, to try and live every single day of my life, no matter where I am, like I'm in Rome. What I mean by that is: I want to step into, and stay in an energy of ease. An energy of ease. What the fuck do I mean by that? Well, as I've been reflecting on this, I decided that I can create a little guidebook for myself, using some tools and some things that I did while I was in Rome, to allow myself to live more easily every day, no matter where I am.
I want to share that guidebook. with you today. I want to share the things I did while I was in Rome that allowed me to stay in an energy of ease, and living in an energy of more ease, like not, I guess, like, I want to explain to you that like, I wasn't just like “la-dee-dah!” all day, I had hard moments.
When I was in Rome, I had a lot of moments where I was grieving the loss of my old life in New York City, I had moments where I was, of course, challenged by certain situations with my clients, I had, you know, challenges of life still came towards me and there were some moments that felt difficult, and I experienced negative emotions. And also, for a decent amount of my day, every day, I was able to access an energy of ease. I want you to be able to access that energy of ease too, because when you step into more of an easeful and flowy, more present, less tense energy, two things happen.
One thing that happens is that your perspective widens, your perspective becomes so much bigger because you're not living in tension and rigidity. And you don't have this sort of like narrow, one track mind survival mode way of looking at the world, right? When you're tense and you're stressed, and you're hyper fixated on something and you're white knuckling and gritting your teeth, it's hard to have a wide perspective because you're in that tense survival mode, and you're unable to access creative ideas, you're unable to receive creative ideas. You're unable to be open to new relationships and new people and new ways of looking at the world.
When you step into a little bit more ease, presence, relaxation, and flow. Your perspective widens and that allows you to access creative solutions to things and creative ideas and be open to new people and to experience life more fully, more freely, more creatively. I know that that widening in perspective, was the reason why I was able to really grow my business the way I did when I was in Rome.
The second reason why it's important to step into an energy of ease, is because when you give yourself more moments of ease and flow and presence and grace throughout your day, you don't need to just flop into a maladaptive coping tool at the end of the day. When I was living in New York, I think it's safe to say that I did not step into very much flow very much pleasure, very much ease and grace throughout my day. Because of that, I would often be just so so tired and burned out at the end of the day.
And I would flop into a relationship, even if it didn't feel like the best fit for me because I sourced a sense of relief from relationships. I never gave myself permission to relax, and step into a sense of rest and pleasure and play when I was on my own. The only time I had ever given myself the chance to step into rest and pleasure and play was when I was with my partner.
So of course, when I was in an energy of like forcing and rigidity all day, all I wanted to do was flop into a relationship, because that was the only space that I'd given myself time to step into ease. But by giving myself more moments of ease and pleasure and flow, throughout the day, I no longer needed- I was no longer going to settle for any old relationship, because I realized I could give myself that sense. It sounds ridiculous when I say it, but I could give myself that sense of relaxation and play and pleasure on my own. I didn't have to source that from a relationship anymore.
Often what happens even if your default coping tool is not settling for a relationship or feeling like you need to be in a relationship, if you don't give yourself moments of rest, relaxation, ease presence, throughout your day, you are likely to flop into whatever your default coping tool of choice is at the end of the day, because your brain is just so damn tired that it's going to default to whatever your negative coping tool of choice is at the end of the day.
So this is why I want to share some things that I did in Rome that helped me step into a sense of ease, that I'm going to bring home with me and do as much as I possibly can throughout this year. I'm sharing these tools because I want you to be able to step into a sense of ease that allows your perspective to widen that allows you to come up with more creative ideas, and a sense of ease that allows you to let go of those coping tools that you tend to flop into when you're just so exhausted at the end of the day. So let's do it.
Here are a few things that I did in Rome, to find more ease and flow that I know I didn't have to go to Rome, in order to be able to do. Still love Rome, but these things are not exclusive to Rome.
So number one was that I had three different types of solo time. While I was in Rome, I had an abundance of three different types of solo time. Number one — and I've talked about this on the podcast before — was solo meals. So not just like throwing together the easiest combination of carbs and proteins and fats that I could find in my kitchen, but actually either going out and sitting down at a restaurant and getting a meal by myself or buying like multiple ingredients and different fresh foods at the farmers market, bringing it up to my apartment and actually taking the time to cook a lovely delicious meal just for myself, and eating it by myself.
Having solo meals is like having extravagant solo meals. Having like, solo meals that have more than three ingredients in them is a game freakin’ changer because it allows you to lean into the pleasure of eating, regardless of occasion.
So it's so important to let yourself lean into the pleasure of eating without being at a family event, without being at a friend's birthday party, without it being a special holiday or a special occasion. It's so important to even if it's just once per month, let yourself have a solo meal that you eat without distraction, bite by bite, and just let yourself lean into the full body sensational pleasure of that meal. Allowing myself to step into a sense of ease. In that way, during my time in Rome, was something that I know left me feeling more open minded and relaxed and fulfilled at the end of the day.
The second type of solo time that I gave myself in Rome, was solo adventure. It didn't have to be like a grand adventure. Like I said, my time in Rome was not like super bougie. It was just like Googling some cool travel blogs, and seeing what parks and little coffee shops and museums were recommended by travel bloggers and just taking myself on a walk to those places. While I was walking there, just letting myself walk without headphones, and a sense of wonder, just being open to it being an adventure, even if I was going to a park that was like a 15 minute walk down the street from my Airbnb.
I tried to stay open to it being an adventure. Didn't know who I was going to meet along the way. I didn't know what I was gonna see along the way. I didn't know what I was going to feel or think about or whatever along the way, I was open to every single little thing, becoming an adventure. And having these things that I did solo was so important because it's just so important to do the things that you feel like doing. It's so important to have days or even just little tiny fractions of a day where you can say to yourself, “What do I want to do today? What do I feel like doing in this moment? Do I feel like going to a museum? Do I feel like sitting in the sun on a park bench? Do I feel like going for a walk and journaling at a coffee shop?”
Like what do I feel like doing today and just going and doing that. Not waiting for a friend to do it with you, not waiting for a partner to do it with you, just giving yourself permission to take a solo adventure. This is something that really really helps you step into a sense of ease.
The third type of solo time was just spacious solo time. So nothingness solo time. So solo time, where I wasn't necessarily going to a certain restaurant, or a certain park or certain museum or a certain thing recommended by a blog. I was just doing nothing. No agenda, walking without an agenda, sitting in the apartment, seriously, without an agenda, giving myself moments of solo spaciousness. I was finding that the only times I ever really felt anxious or lonely truly while I was in Rome, even though I was alone, for most of my time there, was when I hadn't given myself that solo spaciousness.
On the days when I was really packed with things to do, and then also with a bunch of clients to see. Those were the days when I ended up feeling like tense or lonely at the end of the day. And the days when I had solo spaciousness, even if I was alone for the entire freaking day, I never felt lonely at the end of the day, because for some reason, that solo spaciousness created this opportunity for me to just be with myself and be with my thoughts and take care of myself and notice what I needed and meet my needs.
So that solo spaciousness is so important, even just for that reason, to give yourself the opportunity to say, hey, how am I doing? What do I need? Because for so much of our days, when we pack our time, with work, with activities, with things, with doing, with doing, with doing, instead of with being, we don't get that time to catch up with ourselves. We don't get that time to ask ourselves, what do we need, and then all of a sudden, that time that we filled with so much stuff piles up, and we get to a point where we're just so physically or emotionally or spiritually exhausted or lost, and we don't know why, and it's because we haven't given ourselves so low spaciousness to just check in. To just be
If you think about the way people lived, like hundreds, I mean, less than hundreds of years ago. If you think about the way people lived, like a hundred years ago, they had way more spaciousness in their lives, they had way more time with no stimulus to just check in and be and decompress. And we have to work so hard nowadays to give ourselves that solo spaciousness because we constantly have screens in our face and notifications pinging at us and all of the different distractions of the digital world and the world in general. It's so important to give yourself that type of solo time though, that solo time that's not dedicated to running errands, solo time that's not dedicated to doing a thing or working, solo time that's just time to be in space.
Even if it's 15 seconds, even if you pause this podcast and take 15 seconds of solo space right now, I guarantee you're gonna find a little bit of clarity around something or find a little bit of peace around something or just feel a little more relaxed. So that was the first thing that helped me step into a sense of ease in Rome. Was having three different types of solo time: solo meals, solo adventures, solo spaciousness.
The second thing that helped me step into a sense of ease in Rome, was having a “pointless” hobby. Now, we can put “pointless” in air quotes, right? Because nothing is really pointless. And also, I took Italian classes while I was in Rome. And there's no practical reason why I needed to take Italian classes, I don't need to learn Italian for work. Sure, Italian classes allowed me to speak to people in Rome who didn't speak English. And that was super practical. Of course, I'm not going to deny that. And also, I don't necessarily need the language of Italian for anything that's practical in my regular life.
And yet, I let myself take Italian classes while I was there because I think that the language is the most beautiful thing. I think the Italian language is like an art, and I enjoyed learning it so much, because I didn't have to start work until 2pm. Because most of my clients reside in the States. I was able to take Italian classes almost every morning while I was in Rome. It was such an incredible experience to have a hobby that had nothing to do with my job, I have a really hard time having hobbies that have nothing to do with my job. Every time I find a new hobby, I also find a way to relate it to my job somehow, like yoga is now incorporated into my nutrition and body image counseling, and breath work, same thing and writing, same thing. And podcasting, same thing.
So many of my hobbies revolve around my work, which is such a gift. I absolutely love my work. And I love my job. And I don't take a singular fraction of that for granted. And also, I know that it's so important to have hobbies that are truly just for fun and pleasure and experimentation and creativity and learning Italian was one of the first hobbies I ever found that ended up having nothing to do with something I could get paid for.
I know that giving myself permission to do something that I didn't necessarily need to do for anything practical, but just wanted to do, allowed me to really step into a place of more open mindedness, more creativity, more ease. So that's another thing I encourage you to do: can you give yourself permission to have a hobby that is truly, truly, truly for fun?
Something that really just lights you up and makes you happy, and you're never going to get paid for it, and it's never going to be a thing that you can like track to being super productive or practical. Can you give yourself permission to lean into it in some way, shape, or form every single day?
Now, maybe your hobbies, like playing tennis or something, and you don't have time to play tennis every single day of your life. That's totally okay. Maybe you let yourself lean into it, though, in some way, shape, or form every day, maybe you watch a short video about technique or read a few pages of a book or something about it every single day. What would it feel like to give yourself permission to lean into a joyful hobby on a daily basis? And maybe you're one of those awesome people that already does that. So I want to encourage you to keep it up. If you're already someone who leans into a joyful hobby on a daily basis, please keep doing that. It's so important for your brain and for your sense of joy.
The third thing that helped me step into a sense of ease in Italy, was leaning into my five senses. That sounds maybe a little silly. But I really, really leaned into my sense of taste in Italy because of how much I wanted to explore and try all the foods and all the different restaurants and how much I wanted to just take my time while I was eating when I was there. And that was so pleasurable and amazing.
Of course, my culinary adventures also had me leaning into my sense of smell. And I leaned into a sense of seeing beauty everywhere, by just letting myself walk with wonder, like I was saying earlier, just letting myself walk and try to take in every single thing that I saw along the way. I also let myself lean into a sense of touch by taking lots of baths while I was in Rome. I was lucky enough to have an apartment that had a bathtub and my apartment actually backed up to a monastery. And in the window of my bathroom, you could hear just like the most beautiful church chorus singing or playing violins or playing the piano at almost all times. It was insanely beautiful. That was also a way that I leaned into my sense of hearing sound.
I always talk to clients about how you can use your five senses to really regulate your nervous system and how important it is to use music to regulate your mood. Use your sense of sound, your sense of hearing, and drink a cup of tea slowly to lean into your sense of taste. Give yourself a massage with a knock off theragun or whatever to lean into your sense of touch or stretch because stretching activates the same receptors as when someone gives you a hug and let yourself lean into a sense of smell by using candles and essential oils.
This five senses stuff was something that I know I really, really leaned into, while I was in Rome. And I think I had a little epiphany while I was there about how just leaning into the pleasure of my five senses was something that also helped me maintain a super positive body image. I feel like leaning into the pleasure of your five senses and using your five senses to get present, and regulate your mood and regulate your nervous system as much as possible, is truly something that can help you feel good and grounded and sexy and complete in your body.
I invite you to consider you know how you might live your life if you were in Rome, or if you were in a place that you thought was really beautiful and you just wanted to take in all the sights and all the sounds and all the tastes and flavors of the food — and can you try to live that way where you are right now? I certainly find it easy to use my sense of like sight to Denver like wanting to get into nature and just like look at all the mountains and stuff, but I definitely haven't been leaning into my sense of like, I don't know, like the tastes and things like that as much as I was when I was in Rome.
So I'm really wanting to get back into that and just experience the full-body pleasure of leaning into my five senses. Because I also found when I was in Rome, that I didn't have a single moment where I felt disembodied. I have done so much work to recover from my eating disorder and heal from significant body image issues but I'm certainly not immune to negative body image thoughts — I still have them every once in a while. And I found when I was in Rome, that I had them more infrequently than ever before. And pretty much never.
I think part of the reason for that was because of the way I felt so embodied through wanting to just be as present as possible through my five senses. I hope that resonates.
Another way I leaned into ease in Rome, was simply by setting boundaries around starting and ending my work day. This one is really quick and simple to explain. I did not let myself start work before 1 or 2PM. While I was in Rome, because like I said, most of my clients were in the States, so they were not even awake before 1 or 2PM. And I tend to have a bad habit sometimes of beginning work immediately upon waking up. And I knew that I was not going to be in Rome for very long, and I needed to squeeze the juice out of every day there.
So I would wake up every single day, and go on a sunrise walk and get my espresso and walk around and let myself really truly fully ease into the day and not start work before I had to start work. And then when I was done seeing clients — which sometimes was admittedly pretty late at night, like 11 o'clock, midnight — I stopped. I stopped working at the end of the night. And I let myself really close my computer. And I didn't give into the temptation to try to get two more things done or follow that nag to be more productive.
I tried to really set a ritual around when the workday started and when the workday ended, and I lit a candle on my desk in my apartment every single day that I kept on when I was working. And then when I was done working, I blew out the candle and kind of like, officially transitioned out of the work day.
To bring it back to the top of this episode, like I said, I had the most successful month in my business that I ever had up to that moment, and I was working the least, that I had ever worked up to that moment. I think what this showed me is that it is about working with more presence, not about working more. It is about allowing myself to rest because when I allow myself to rest more, I can give more. And when I allow myself to rest more, I can be more creative, and I can be more efficient, and I can be more productive, and I can be more fully present for every single one of my clients.
Having those boundaries around when my workday starts and when my workday ends and trying to create some sort of ritual and transition out of that workday and putting a reminder in my Google calendar at like 7PM every single day reminding myself to close up shop and really transition and not check my email anymore has been so impactful to me. I invite you to really consider the ways that you're setting boundaries around starting and ending your workday, and considering that when you rest more, you can get more. Cool.
So the final thing I want to share about my time in Rome was a little realization I had, like midway through my trip. I realized that I hadn't lost any of my hair ties while I was in Rome. Now that might sound like a really silly thing. But maybe if you're also someone who has really long hair and frequently needs to tie it back, you resonate with this concept of like, where do all my hair ties go?
For my whole life I had always had this problem with all of my hair ties seemingly going missing. And in the moment when I needed to tie my hair up. They just like were all gone and I couldn't find them and I lost track of all of them. I especially needed hair ties when I was in Rome in June, because it was really freaking hot there and I have very long, very thick hair. I noticed that I always had a hair tie. Whenever I needed one, I was never on a wild goose hunt for a hair tie, I was never wondering where I put my hair ties, I had kept track of, you know, the four that I brought with me.
The reason I'm sharing this is because I realized that the reason I didn't lose my hair ties was because of how present and attentive I was. It was because of the extra care that I took to just like, nourish myself and be fully present and fully embodied in every moment. I took time to really collect my things and organize the little nooks of my apartment, and to make sure that I didn't lose my hair ties.
I invite you to think about if there's something that you frequently lose track of — like your keys, or your hair ties or your socks — ask yourself, if you can give yourself enough headspace, enough spaciousness in your life, enough of a sense of ease in your life, to pay attention to keeping track of that thing, too. Pay attention to holding on to that thing that inevitably makes your life a little bit easier, a little bit more pleasurable, a little bit easier to get through.
What have you lost track of and can you let yourself slow down enough to keep track of it? I think that's the main thing — it was like I realized I had slowed down enough to not just like keep losing track of this thing that I would always always lose. That's how I want to live every day like I'm in Rome. I want to have three different types of solo time, I want to have solo meals, some solo adventures, and some solo space and rest. I want to have a “pointless” hobby, an impractical hobby. I want to really lean into my five senses and let myself experience the pleasure of my five senses in my body. And remember that that's actually part of having like a positive body image and feeling good in my body.