3 Things We Dive Into In This Episode:
Tangible tools for feeling complete as you are now, feeling whole as a single person, and tapping into a sense of self-worth.
Tangible tools for eating more intuitively and healing your relationship with food.
Tools and mindset shifts for feeling more alive and tapping into a sense of freedom.
đResources
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Whole Full and Alive Podcast episodes:
Episode 12 - Feeling It All: Reflections from 6 Months of Heartbreak, Change, and Adventure
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
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đEpisode Highlights
[01:46] Looking Back at 2022
2022 was a wild year for me. I moved out of Manhattan, traveled the world, and ended a relationship. I became a better counselor and learned so much.
Itâs important to process our experiences from the past 12 months. Thereâs value in taking the time to acknowledge what weâve learned and how much weâve grown.
Set an intention this New Year. Focus less on what we want to let go of and more on what we want to start or bring into our lives this coming year.
By focusing on what we want to do, we naturally release things we donât want without shaming ourselves.
Take a moment to give yourself a bit of energy and attention.
[07:18] Wholeness: All We Need is Ourselves
Wholeness is about feeling complete as we are now. We're complete and whole; we don't need anything or anyone else to complete us.
One of my learnings on wholeness is that we will never feel as good as we can if we think not having âthisâ or âthatâ makes us inadequate.
I struggled with thinking that Iâm incomplete without a romantic partner. Because of this, I developed maladaptive coping tools and compromised to save my relationship.
Similarly, when the feeling of wholeness depends on our body size or shape, we can develop maladaptive tools when our body changes.
We can feel whole and good even when things outside our control change or leave. We are whole and worthy from the moment we're born.
Caitie: "You get to feel good, even as your body changes, even as these things that are outside of your control, change and evolve and leave. Over time, you will still be whole. You will still be worthy. Your worth is inherent, and you are whole and you were born whole. You will never feel as good as you can feel if you're depending on something that's out of your control." - Click here to Tweet this
[13:58] Wholeness: Choosing Ourselves
Choose the people that choose you back. Don't stay in relationships where you're the only one who gives your time and effort.
Choose ourselves. Identify and honor what's valuable to us. We're worthy of being chosen; choosing ourselves can help us become valuable contributors to the world.
When we choose ourselves, we also show other people that they have permission to recognize their own value and worth.
[17:52] Wholeness: Being On Our Own Team
It's important to be on your own team. Let's be our own teammates.
Practice kindness, compassion, and cheer for ourselves. At the same time, we can continue to call out our own bullshit.
By being our own supportive teammate, we build relationships with people who are also on our team.
In my experience, the relationships I built were a form of relief from feeling incomplete.
Talking to a therapist or a coach can help us have the space to be on our own team.
[22:58] Wholeness: Leaning Into Loneliness
Don't resist loneliness. Instead, lean into it and feel it.
In the year I've been traveling alone, I only felt lonely when I moved to Denver. Instead of resisting it, I let myself cry and feel it fully.
The day after, I felt great â even after a lonely night. I didn't resist my loneliness and let it move through me.
It's human and completely okay to feel lonely. We don't have to shame ourselves for it.
Through healthy coping tools, we can soothe ourselves as we ride the wave of negative emotion. These practices might not solve anything, but they can be a comfort.
[30:17] Fullness: Structure With No Restrictions
Fullness is about nutrition. It's feeling full and giving our bodies the energy we need.
It's possible to have structure without restrictions. We can create nutrition plans and build food-related habits without forming rules that restrict us.
People often feel threatened by the lack of structure without the diet mentality.
We might need to relax more in areas we think need more structure. Relax and trust our bodies to regulate themselves.
Look at the big picture when structuring our food and nutrition habits.
[34:16] Fullness: We Deserve to Eat Good Things
Itâs important to have solo meals that are extravagant and pleasurable. You deserve it!
When I was in Rome, I found it felt good to have great food by myself. After that, I always had at least one fancy meal a month â all for myself.
We don't need a special reason to eat pleasurable food.
[37:00] Fullness: Releasing Energy and Emotion Within Us
Letting our nervous system regulate and release our pent-up energy is one of the best ways to get in touch with our hunger and fullness cues.
Through somatic breathwork and other somatic practices, we can release what weâre unconsciously holding onto.
These practices helped me stop avoiding my body and move into a place of embodiment. I could let go of the emotions and unprocessed events stuck within.
Caitie: âThrough a practice like somatic breathwork and any other somatic therapy type of practice, you truly can release the emotional clutter that's built up inside your body and get yourself to a place where embodiment feels more natural. Where tuning into your body cues feels more natural and less scary, and you're not so tempted to step into a place of body avoidance.â - Click here to Tweet this
Intuitive eating is the process of being aware of what our bodies are trying to tell us by removing obstacles like pent-up emotions.
Practices like somatic breathwork are essential to becoming an intuitive eater and cultivating our awareness.
[39:43] Fullness: Weight Loss Doesnât Solve the Deeper Problems
Remember that losing weight doesnât solve the deeper problems of belonging, love, and acceptance.
There is still so much work to do for body diversity, acceptance of body shapes and sizes, and reducing fatphobia in our society.
Nutrition decisions driven by fear of weight gain donât support achieving a sense of energy and longevity.
Unpack our fear of weight gain and desire for weight loss. These problems are often rooted in love, belonging, acceptance, or at times, a desire for control.
[45:06] Aliveness: Feeling It All
Being alive means feeling it all. Lean into every emotion, experience it, and release it in time.
Both good and bad feelings can happen simultaneously. Have the capacity to hold space for many things to be true at the same time.
Caitie: âBeing alive is letting so many things be true at the same time. Allowing yourself to have the capacity to hold space for many things to be true at the same time and letting yourselves feel it all.â - Click here to Tweet this
My most joyful moments make me feel alive, just as much as the painful and sad ones. Feeling the depth of one wouldn't be possible without the other.
[47:58] Aliveness: We Are Where Weâre Supposed to Be.
Never worry that we're wasting our day. The worrying itself is what ends up wasting our day.
While visiting Rome, one of my friends was constantly worried about not making the most out of the day.
Live and lean into where we are right here and now. Thatâs the best way to spend each moment.
Trust that weâre exactly where weâre supposed to be.
[50:02] Aliveness: We Donât Have to Chase Goodness
One of my favorite learnings in 2022 is that when we donât force ourselves to be good, we are free.
Let go of the âgoodâ and âbadâ mentality. Open up your sense of freedom and expansiveness.
There is no good or bad. Everything depends on the context of the moment.
Trying to chase the standards of âbeing goodâ is exhausting and anxiety-inducing.
[53:02] Aliveness: Every Moment is Yours
Being alive means that every moment of aliveness is always from our own energy.
When I lost a relationship, I didn't lose any of the love. The love I gave came from me and is still within me.
We create the joy and fulfillment gained from something we lose. It was always ours.
Enjoyed the Podcast?
Whole, Full, & Alive is a podcast exploring the art and science of falling in love with your life, with your story, and with who you truly are â underneath your titles, your resume, your relationship status, and your bank account. What did 2022 teach you? Take some time to reflect on and process those experiences, then set an intention for the new year ahead.
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Transcript
Caitie Corradino: Structure without restriction is so, so, so possible. You can create a sense of structure, and you can create plans around your nutrition and food related habits without putting yourself on a diet, without using specific numbers, without feeling restricted.
Welcome to Whole, Full and Alive, a podcast exploring the art and science of falling in love with your life, with your story and with who you truly are underneath your titles, your resume, your relationship status and your bank account.
I'm Caitie Corradino, a registered dietician nutritionist, certified fitness and yoga instructor, eating disorder recovery coach, Reiki healer, and founder of Full Soul Nutrition, but underneath my titles and resume, a big fan of kitchen dance breaks, early mornings, all things chocolate truffles, world traveling and serendipity. I'm here to share no bullshit stories and actionable tools to help you feel unshakably worthy.
You have everything you need within you to feel whole, full and alive right here, right now. Let's get into it. Hey, welcome back to another episode of Whole, Full, and Alive. This is the 2022 recap episode. I am here on the microphone solo today to share some tools for wholeness, some tools for fullness and some tools for aliveness that I have picked up over the course of this year. 2022 was a very wild year for me on a personal level.
I moved out of Manhattan after being there for 10 years. I ended a relationship. I traveled around the world and around the United States trying to decide where I wanted to live next. I settled in Denver, Colorado, which is a huge change from living in Manhattan, and I also made a lot of changes to my business. I learned a lot about being a better counselor, became a somatic breathwork practitioner, had some interesting dating experiences, started working at a strength and conditioning fitness studio for the first time after only ever really teaching yoga and bar and dance fitness-like classes.
A lot went down for me this year, and I'm sure a lot went down for you, too. I really, truly, deeply, fully, completely believe in setting aside some time at the end of every calendar year or the beginning of every new calendar year to just process and label the things that happened to you over the last 12 months. I know we can argue that the New Year is an arbitrary time.
Also whether or not you decide to do it in December or January or at a different time of the year, I do think that there's so much value in just taking the time to acknowledge how much happens in the course of 365 days, in the course of a year, how much you experience, how much you learn, how much you grow, and also to take some time to set an intention for the new year ahead. Not a resolution because you're not a problem to be resolved, but an intention.
An intention because it can be so powerful to have some sort of internal compass that feels true and authentic to us and use that to guide us through the rest of the year. So anyway, if you haven't done that yet, I really do recommend taking some time to just sit down, process, meditate on everything that's happened to you this year, and sit down, process and meditate on what you want to call in for this new year.
The same way I encourage clients in nutrition counseling to focus less on what they want to eliminate from their diet and focus more on what they want to add to their diet. I encourage you to focus less on what you want to stop doing in the new year or what you want to let go of in the new year and focus more on what you want to call in, more on what you want to do, more on what you're going to eat, more on what habits you want to engage in, more on what kind of energy you want to bring into a room.
Yeah, just more on what you do want, rather than on what you don't want. Inevitably, when you focus more on the things you do want, there is less shame associated with that. We know that shame is a very biologically potent emotion that prevents us from getting the things that we actually want. Also, inevitably, when you focus on the things that you do want, rather than the things that you don't want, you naturally end up releasing the things that you don't want without a sense of shaming yourself for them.
So those are some invitations for you as I'm diving into this 2022 recap episode. Before I dive into lessons on wholeness, lessons on fullness, and lessons on aliveness, let's take a deep breath. If you're here with me, listening, if you have time to give a little bit of your attention, your energy to this podcast, I want you to take a moment to give a little bit of energy and attention to yourself.
When you're ready, take a nice deep breath in through your nose. Hold it at the top, and exhale. Let it go slowly, nice, long exhale. Let's do that one more time, and let's do it more sincerely this time. If you can, I encourage you to take both the inhale and the exhale through your nose. Nice deep breath in. Hold, and exhale. All right. Let's dive in. Let's do it, lessons on wholeness, lessons on fullness and lessons on aliveness that I picked up throughout this year, which was a year full of all the things I just mentioned a few moments ago, lots and lots of stuff.
We're going to start with wholeness, just in the spirit of going in order of the title of this podcast. Wholeness is about feeling complete as you are now, knowing that you are whole within yourself, knowing that you don't need another person, a job title, a certain thing on your resume, a certain amount of money to complete you. You are complete. You are whole within yourself. So what have I learned about wholeness this year that I want to share with you, number one, and this is a call back to Episode One of this podcast, but I cannot say it enough.
You will never feel as good as you can feel if there's something that you think you are inadequate without. Why do I feel so passionately about sharing this? You will never feel as good as you can feel if there's something that you think you're inadequate without. Well, my greatest absolute passion is helping people feel good, helping people feel more energized, helping people feel more confident, helping people feel happier and healthier and more purposeful.
One of the biggest blocks I have faced is believing that I'm only complete if I have this thing outside of me. I mentioned in Episode One that for a very long time, I've struggled with the idea that I am incomplete without a romantic partner, without a boyfriend, in my case, and this has caused a lot of problems in my life. Because every time my partnership, my relationship has been threatened, it's caused me to sort of contort and bend over backwards and change a lot of things about myself and compromise a lot of things in order to hold on to the relationship.
When my sense of wholeness was dependent upon having a boyfriend, I would be like every time that relationship was maybe going to end, I would feel my sense of wholeness threatened. When my sense of wholeness, my sense of completeness, my sense of worthiness, my sense of home within myself was threatened, I would feel completely out of control and as I said, first of all, try to change myself in order to try to hold on to the relationship.
Or I would engage in very maladaptive coping tools that were ultimately, obviously maladaptive, not good for me. This happens with a lot of people in relation to romantic partnerships, and it happens to a lot of people in relation to body shape or size. If your sense of wholeness, if your sense of feeling complete is dependent on having a certain body shape or size, whenever your body inevitably changes, because bodies do change throughout life that is so natural, you will feel your sense of wholeness, your sense of completeness threatened, and you may engage in maladaptive coping tools to try to get that sense of wholeness back.
Body size is another thing that I certainly placed my sense of wholeness, my sense of home, my sense of self worth in for a really long time, and I let go of that quite a long time ago. But this year, 2022 was definitely the year that I learned to fully, completely stop placing my sense of wholeness in having a partner. Woof, it feels good to say that. I know I already said it on Episode One, but wow, I cannot believe how much I sourced my sense of worthiness in not being single in such a subconscious way for such a long time.
I really didn't realize I was doing it. Now that I am not sourcing my sense of wholeness from being in a partnership, I'm able to take an entirely new approach to dating and relationships. Because I'm not looking for a partner in order to feel a sense of wholeness and a sense of home, I'm looking for a partner for a million different other reasons. If I were to get into another relationship and then lose that relationship, my sens